Over the summer we had a long drive to make to join my parents for a stay down the shore, so Jeff and I decided to load the iPads* with a few new movies in order to help pass the time in the car. Spoiled for choice and wondering what he might find most entertaining, we finally decided on A Bug's Life and Meet the Robinsons, the latter having been recommended by a friend. Sam never did get into A Bug's Life but he loves Meet the Robinsons. Had I known what an emotional bomb that movie was going to be for me, I might have made him wait until we were home to watch it.
The premise of the movie is this: Lewis is a 12 year old inventor who lives in an orphanage, having been left on the front steps of that establishment by his mother when he was just an infant. He's had many, many interviews with prospective adoptive families over the years but none found him to be "the right fit" for their family and Lewis has given up all hope of being adopted. While at his school's science fair, he meets the mysterious Wilbur Robinson who whisks him away in his time machine on a mission to stop the evil Bowler Hat Guy. During the course of their adventure, Lewis makes Wilbur promise that if their mission is successful, he will bring him back in time so that Lewis can finally catch a glimpse of his mother's face. He dreams of reuiniting with her and becoming a family again.
Sam watched the movie while I drove and again several times after while I was busy doing other things at the beach house, so it wasn't until lunchtime the day we were going to leave that I finally got a chance to sit down and start watching it for real. He snuggled into my lap, tired from a morning of sand and sun. The movie was almost over by the time I sat down, so we were at the point when the opening scene replays itself. Lewis sees himself being placed on the orphanage steps and Mildred, the orphanage matron, comes out and picks him up, cradling him in her arms. As I watched the scene, it suddenly occurred to me how intently Sam was paying attention to it all. I wondered what he was thinking and feeling about his own adoption. I felt a stab of panic, wondering if I should break in right then and remind him that this is not how it happened for him, that the circumstances surrounding his adoption couldn't have been more different. Instead, Sam chose that moment to squirm around in my arms and hug my neck. Pointing to Mildred, he said "Dat Lewis' real mommy." and smiled at me.
I hugged him back, hard, and kissed him. As soon as the movie wrapped up I excused myself to the bathroom so I could sob my heart out in private. I never want Sam to forget where he came from but it wrung my heart with emotion that he loves me so strongly; enough to clearly associate the woman who invested her life in Lewis as his mother, when the movie never once references her as such. My motherhood has been confirmed by everyone around me, Sam's biological family included. But nothing will ever, ever beat having it confirmed by my own child.
Later, at home, we would watch the movie again and he would ask me to go get my ratty pink chenille sweater, my "Mildred sweater," so that he could sit on my lap with it buttoned around both of us. When the time was right, Jeff and I did eventually remind him that he was never in an orphanage and never abandoned; that he was always loved and wanted, right from the start. We know he gets it, though he doesn't say much. But little tidbits come out, now and then, and when they do, they fill my heart to bursting.
*I know what you're thinking, "iPads? Pretentious much?" But if you saw our ghetto, non-dvd player-equipped minivan (ceiling fabric falling down so it brushes your head) you might change your mind. We prioritize here; some people go for fancy rides, we go for technology.
The premise of the movie is this: Lewis is a 12 year old inventor who lives in an orphanage, having been left on the front steps of that establishment by his mother when he was just an infant. He's had many, many interviews with prospective adoptive families over the years but none found him to be "the right fit" for their family and Lewis has given up all hope of being adopted. While at his school's science fair, he meets the mysterious Wilbur Robinson who whisks him away in his time machine on a mission to stop the evil Bowler Hat Guy. During the course of their adventure, Lewis makes Wilbur promise that if their mission is successful, he will bring him back in time so that Lewis can finally catch a glimpse of his mother's face. He dreams of reuiniting with her and becoming a family again.
Sam watched the movie while I drove and again several times after while I was busy doing other things at the beach house, so it wasn't until lunchtime the day we were going to leave that I finally got a chance to sit down and start watching it for real. He snuggled into my lap, tired from a morning of sand and sun. The movie was almost over by the time I sat down, so we were at the point when the opening scene replays itself. Lewis sees himself being placed on the orphanage steps and Mildred, the orphanage matron, comes out and picks him up, cradling him in her arms. As I watched the scene, it suddenly occurred to me how intently Sam was paying attention to it all. I wondered what he was thinking and feeling about his own adoption. I felt a stab of panic, wondering if I should break in right then and remind him that this is not how it happened for him, that the circumstances surrounding his adoption couldn't have been more different. Instead, Sam chose that moment to squirm around in my arms and hug my neck. Pointing to Mildred, he said "Dat Lewis' real mommy." and smiled at me.
I hugged him back, hard, and kissed him. As soon as the movie wrapped up I excused myself to the bathroom so I could sob my heart out in private. I never want Sam to forget where he came from but it wrung my heart with emotion that he loves me so strongly; enough to clearly associate the woman who invested her life in Lewis as his mother, when the movie never once references her as such. My motherhood has been confirmed by everyone around me, Sam's biological family included. But nothing will ever, ever beat having it confirmed by my own child.
Later, at home, we would watch the movie again and he would ask me to go get my ratty pink chenille sweater, my "Mildred sweater," so that he could sit on my lap with it buttoned around both of us. When the time was right, Jeff and I did eventually remind him that he was never in an orphanage and never abandoned; that he was always loved and wanted, right from the start. We know he gets it, though he doesn't say much. But little tidbits come out, now and then, and when they do, they fill my heart to bursting.
*I know what you're thinking, "iPads? Pretentious much?" But if you saw our ghetto, non-dvd player-equipped minivan (ceiling fabric falling down so it brushes your head) you might change your mind. We prioritize here; some people go for fancy rides, we go for technology.
